We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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