My room smells like vodka and shame
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
