Sorry, I don't speak sober.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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