so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
