Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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