woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
