This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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