walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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