You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
