i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
