Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
