For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
