I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I want a musical about memes.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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