So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
