we have officially lost it.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
