Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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