Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
