Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
