she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
