Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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