I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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