Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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