I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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