I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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