how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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