dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
sex in a hospital.. check
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
