You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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