And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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