Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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