she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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