I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
