I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
