I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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