I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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