Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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