I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize