You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
