I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
