u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
