At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What a dumb baby whore.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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