if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
