why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
