I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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