the only muscles i have these days is kegels
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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