Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
