Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
