Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
