Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's blow job season.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
