it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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