every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
pray to the hookup gods
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
