We won't sleep together?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
