Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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