You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize