How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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