is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
