Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
