Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
