is your mom at the bar?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
