I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
