So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize