I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize