Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
