there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
