what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
